Cin died the day u stabbed her heart, on the 10th..

vomited

2006-06-03T18:16:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh!! i feel so guilty eating pastamania today!! argh. how bout my diet. in e end when i reached home, vomited everything out, e creamy chick all came out. yeew~ i wanna hav a perfect body, cos fio is slim n pretty. i cnt lose to her. hate it. havin a bad headache at e moment.

was so funny, we went bishan, as in mi, lyn n manda. then aft manda left, mi n lyn jus walked around. lol. so sian. then a guy came to ask for number. so weird. but i kinda wanna pierce my lip, cos tt guy had tt pierce'in. so cool. ha. but i normally pierce when i feel irritated or mayb fan ba. cos if i do, i'll b more occupied rather than sittin at hm doing nth.

mum cried ytd, i dunno y, at first i thought tt she quarrelled w dad. but only tis aft nn when kor called to tell mi tt is was bout jiejie. haix. same old problem. i can understand y mummy thinks so. i'll do e same if my daughter is like jiejie. haix. mayb jie shd get married to some1 her standard n not sum1 worst off than her by millions.. blah. even thou i may say tis now. if i were jie, i'll also choose hu i love . omg. so COMPLICATED.

hmm, sumthin incised my cardiac organ. freakin painful. izzit true tt if i love him, im supposed to let him go n find his happiness tt he wans? but if it really is e case, wont it b excruciating for mi? i m willing to do anything, jus for him to b happy, tt's if he really dn love mi. i'll keep on waitin, i believe in miracles.

broadway is so cool, it's e finale item for rapture con tis year!! b sure to watch!!

charissa has a bf! congrats. thou it been sum time already. =)

lyn's butt

2006-06-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

lyn's butt

mi n lyn, look at my tummy, i hav a baby!! lol, jus kiddin, is jus a pack of superrings in my jacket.

VK's crazy ">WALK

i look like such a retard.

i feel so sick. cnt blog. missin him like always. God, pls show mi e route i shd take.

im smilin cos of u

2006-06-02T21:39:00.000+08:00

i know tt u hab already made it v clear tt u'll move on. everything is in e past. but i'll jus hope tt e next gal wil love u more than i do. then i hav nth else better to say, but only 2 leave. i cnt imagine wat will i become, if i were 2 c u w her. i'll die. i cnt force u or anything. i can only hope tt u'll nv forget mi n our memories. i may b stubborn, but im sry, i'll wait stil. years ltr, i'll stil b waitin. cos i rmb our childish promise - tt u'll marry mi. i noe we're stil young, but i had always believe tt we'll last forever. i'll agree to any condition(s) jus to hav u back. i love u.

tis may b jus a little pain tt im going thru, but i m sure tt im tt stubborn to stick on 2 wat i wan, so e pain wil always b there. hmm, dunno wat e hell i mean. anyways, she mas b damn happy cos she finally got wat she wanted all along. i truely hate her, but no matter how much i dislike her, everything is over. ma(his mum) said b4, tt i mus learn to take things easy. ya. bet tt night was e last time im gonna hear ma's voice. i love u dar, i love u.

i've learn to stop cryin, cos i dun wanna make u feel wat u felt tt time. i dun cry. not cos it doesn't matter to mi, but jus tt at least i still hav our memories to keep mi alive, tt's y i shd smile. i've spent ur 2 birthdays w u already, u missed mine last year, guess it's e same for tis year too.

i m smiling becos of u. =) e place in my heart can only b filled by my dar.

pool table w a ilu.

2006-06-02T08:27:00.000+08:00

look at e middle of the pic, then u'll c wat tt word is. thinkin of wat xinyi said. if there's no love, i shdn't b forcein e relationship. but i jus dun believe tt he dun love mi anymore. we had happy times b4. n there is sum stuffs tt's stil bothering mi. i need him badly.

my head's burnin. i was sick n i needed him, i called, but then.. i cant take tis anymore. i jus wanna forget everything. it's impossible. e first day we met, u actually caught my eye. i was thinkin of how to start a conversation w u. but u were always tokin to jaime. i love u.

if only i was invisible, i'll b able to b by ur side. i cnt get e sour feelin in my heart to disappear.

ilu.

c him in the pic?

2006-06-01T20:32:00.000+08:00

c tis pic?

it's mi n him.

??

u cnt find him??

there, he's right there.

in my heart.

im thinkin of u.

pizza

2006-06-01T19:13:00.000+08:00

jus saw tis in my phone, think lyn took it. lol. finally could put on my contacts, but still eyes quite red. hopefully it'll get better.
oh, this is my so-called breakfast-lunch-dinner for today. it WAS. until lyn drop e whole box on e floor. then i had nth to eat(she mus b sayin it again, 'stop rubbin it in~"). lol
my bag.

so gross rite? we went pizza hut. cos ended early, then i also got nowhere to go. tt's a mix of chilli bits, cheese, pepsi, cream, spagetti. yeew~ there goes my diet AGAIN!! at first i lost 2kg, then put on 1kg aft ytd's bbq. i think i'll go back to my actual weight!! argh. all tt "eat-cereals-only" diet is such a failure!! shit. omg, i drank PEPSI!!

rmb sum1 said tt when i hav no mood or when im totally lost. i'll jus listen to sum noisy stuffs which i normally dun like, cos ya, jus TOO noisy~ omg, i really did. unknowingly. but anyway. at least i hav the video i made for him on his birthday.

passed Madigan's while i was on my way hm today, n e song tt i was listening to at the moment was - nv b replaced by 1st ladi. i wanted so much to burn tt pub down.

tis was wat i made for his birthday.. watch e video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUtRJZCNPAQ

bbq, n at dance on 31 may

2006-06-01T19:06:00.000+08:00

tis was taken ytd. w swollen eyes. at dance. lyn's holdin a PAO. mi holdin on to my breakfast-lunch-dinner. w/o contacts.

mi n mel at bishan, buyin food for e bbq. was like going to 8 le.

took a pic of mel n yun.. they say i cnt cook, so i wasn't helpin, it's not an excuse!! =)

mel sort of forced him to send mi hm, cos it was late. mel ar. tsk tsk. anyway, thanx for ur sweater. btw, i was wearin shorts, not skirt. -_-ll i love u guys, e bbq was quite fun. =)

swollen eye

2006-05-31T07:46:00.000+08:00

day 1 of a pulverized heart:
eyes swollen, got to wear specs to sch.. =(

so UGLY!!

e memories, are keepin mi alive. i'll b waitin, like in e past.

ur my obsession.

he broke up w mi.

2006-05-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

a call at 9.58 ended everything. it was 13 min 16 secs.

it's over.
cnt believe.
i feel like im being strangled.
i need oxygen.
im gonna die.

i luv u, not jus in the past or now, but forever.

his bday pics

2006-05-30T09:53:00.000+08:00

pics taken on his bday. luv u more than anything in my life. pls stop doing tis to mi. u said tt u'll nv let her hurt mi ever again. i believed all ur words. im bleedin, inside n out. jus wish tt i nv did saw wat she wrote to u. wished tt i was still kept in e dark. wished tt we nv met. im hangin on, cos i stil love u like ever b4.

fiona gave him a priceless present!! freak

2006-05-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

FCUK TT DAMN BITCH!! U WAN HIM SO BADLY, Y NOT TRY STRIPPIN INFRONT OF HIM, GREAT POSSIBILITY TT IT MIGHT WORK!! *it's not as if u've nv done it b4*

she was e one hu first said fuckin nonsense. now the whole world thinks tt ur the angel n im the devil. even him too. so wat r u tryin to achieve? him? FUCK HIM ALL U WAN. guys cant resist temptations. SLUT. can predict wat u'll say:"dar, i feel so hurt, i cant stand it. sob*"

FUCK U LO, all i said was true. r u even a VIRGIN? i dun think so.

but 1 thing is also true. he cares for her. izzit true tt i shd really end tis. i din wan to, cos i thought he loved mi. but now, things r gettin clearer bout hu he cares for.. but, if i leave, she'll accomplish her motive. ma, i wld really wanna b ur "si fu"(tt time u said so), but it's time for mi to face reality. i mus move out of my fantasy. it was n always will, only b a delusion. if she wans him n she gets him, it also cos he is willing to go to her.

rmb the dvd we watch ytd? person A hav a gf, miss B, hu is also miss C's good fren. but then when person A quarrelled w miss B, he went to look for miss C.. n he sort of like miss C. then in the end miss B found out, but was willing to stil stay w person A. but person A told her to find sum other better guy, so miss B went overseas. it takes 2 hands to clap, so cliché, ha.

i think i hav split personality.

i look scary when i get angry? actually no, cos im always smiling. tt's y my strength is my mask. so.. haha, no mood to write stuffs, so wrote tis stupid haha.

artem got out of sytycd

2006-05-29T21:05:00.000+08:00

argh, artem got out. 3 couples left. i was thinkin tt sum1 can do his turns better n more then any1 of them. he is jus so pro, they shd hav a so u think u can dance thingy in sg too. it's b nice.

i mis him. he said tt he'll mis call mi when he finishes his dinner. but it's alreay 9++ when he started eatin 2 hrs b4.. hubb..

tmr's dance is 11.30 to 6.. haix. back hurts. T_T then it's 9 to 5 again for wednesday.. lol

oh ya, saw wanhua on tbee ytd. best of luck!!

yawn.

160205

2006-05-29T19:09:00.000+08:00

160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205 160205

wrote it 99 times, cant copy n paste de. typed it out 1 by 1. it's a v impt date!!

i heart my BF.

first day of holiday. tired!!

2006-05-29T18:55:00.000+08:00

jus came home. there goes my diet plan. ate mac's, gave in to TEMPTATIONS!! argh. hmm, jus tired. wanted so much to go visit my hubb. mis him like hell. he bit mi ytd -_-ll

i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArREn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI AN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArREn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiANg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIanG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!! i loVe dArReN LiAnG KaI An!! i lOvE DaRrEn lIaNg kAi aN!! I LoVe DaRrEn LiaNg KaI aN!!

i heart him lots lots. muacks hubb, ganna mis manda cos she'll b at pre-u sem for 1 week. kisses!! hate studyin T_T

im goin mad!!

2006-05-27T22:05:00.000+08:00

i cant take it anymore.

im worried tt i'll give up 1 day.

i need security.

i feel e sourness in my heart.

im NOT ur pet.

im jus going mad.

i wan to e cindy i used to b.

if i change, m i still cindy??

or m i jus a pet.

which listens to ur orders?

sry lyn

2006-05-27T20:28:00.000+08:00

shouted at lyn.
im sry.
i was thinkin bout wat happened ytd.
i was so pissed.

btw, it was dar's bday ytd. came hm bout 3 morn. drank, zhenhong n a gal were drunk. lol, i stil ok. dar leh, also blur blur de. couldn't walk properly.. heard andy they all going MOS party on 30 de. haix. now i noe y kids these day r rotten like hell. had to reach sch by 8.30 for ipho. OMG. haix. din eat breakfast.

a little sumthin for my beloved hubb:
click on THIS

cried during dance.
i think there r no tears left,
think they had resigned frm their jobs.

went to meet him jus now.
haix.
went hm myself.
again.
it was so dark.
n scary.
i cried while runnin hm.
cos the forest was damn eerie.
i called him.
he din cal mi back.
i was alone.
in the dark.
cryin.

tired aft all the tedious "training" 4 dance, quarrels w him.
i need sumthin to cheer mi up.

btw, lyn i was so touched tt u said u'll watch da vinci w mi, thou u manda asked u to go w them today. i cant go today, so sry. i even abd u for dinner. sry. i really feel so guilty. luv u lyn.

hubb i love u.

i cried, alwyn said 56.2 kg

2006-05-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

haix. read jar's blog bout the band concert thingy. e 1 which i din go. hmm, sry.

cried in class. i think i was jus too sensative. sry alwyn, lol. im ok. =) aft he said tt, i was thinkin bout fio. she is so slim. perfect figure. i jus feel so fat. ya i m. ray said it too today. hmm. christine said tt shd try to diet for straight 3 mths. ok i've decided.

to not:
drink bubble tea*
eat tou hui*
eat mentos*
drink soft drinks*

to:
drink ONLY plain water*
try to eat porridge most of the time(least oil as compared to other stuffs sold in e cafe)*

i'll try to stick to tt first. c if can "survive" for 3 mths.

wish mi luck!!

i wan the perfect body..

tmr's dar's birthday.. haix but got dance til 6 ++ then.. haix. then at night go club at sum place w him n his frens but then i got dance on saturday morn. gonna b damn tired. actually i really wanted to celebrate his birthday w only the 2 of us. but he.. aft all im not his world. im only a gf to him. i understand. but 1 thing is for sure, he is my universe.

crude words r not meant to b for gf(or bf).. vulgarities do not exist in my dictionary. ya, n i agree im STUPID by try'in to find sum excuse to go w u tmr. do u expect mi to say to my mum: "im gonna go clubbin w dar, u hav no rite to say 'NO' ." i m jus tryin to make u happy.

wat do u prefer to do on ur birthday:
1. go celebrate it w my bf/gf ONLY.
2. go clubbin w frens, cos my bf/gf cant stay til too late so might as well ask him/her to stay at hm.
3. try to find sum way to make it easy for my bf/gf to meet mi, so tt he/she can go hm early to rest.
4. break up w my bf/gf

i dun need u to do no. 3 cos no. 1 is gd enough. but then, no.2 was 1 of ur options until i called. hope no.4 wont come.

i heart u. wil u heart mi back?

fiona msg mi frm friendster. fake!!

2006-05-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

the pic tis figure 1

hmm, fio msg mi in friendster, i cant reply cos i haven verify my email n stuffs.

this was wat she wrote on Sunday, April 16, 2006 18:57:00 - since euu kip addin mi, den i tink i gotta tell usmth, when euu were wit dar last yr, i nv broke euuguys up and why now eu snatch from mi !!i oso dunch understand euu , euu last time infriendster write him until so jialat , y still wan himbck ??

my reply to her - i add u cos i wanted to b frens. i thought u were my fren tt time when u used darrens msn to tok to mi, i knew tt u were at his hse at tt time, i jus din say, cos dar said tt u ppl were outside. i understand tt tis all had passed. so i din try to find out wat really happen between u 2. but he told mi already. n i trust him. u nv break us up last year? stop lying u were tryin hard to get him, jus cos i went overseas, then he was drunk tt day. so he agreed to u wantin to stead w him. so tis year u got it by underhand methods cos i wasn't in singapore. wat happened tis year then? tt time, he called to ask u if he shd cal mi back cos he knew wat he did was wrong back then, u told him NOT to cal mi. then aft tt he didi cal mi back, but he said tt he wanted to break up w mi. wat u mean tt u NEVER try to do stuffs. i snatch frm u?? ask urself or even him, he said he broke up w u cos U went clubbing w other guys n he could not contact u. u did tt to spite him. tt was y he broke up w u. UR BLAMEIN MI 4 WAT U DID WRONG??! he has been v v good to u when he was w u, seriously, i envied u. it was like aft u ppl broke up quite sometime, i sms him then noe u ppl break de. ur blamein mi 4 all tis??! I NEVER SNATCH ANY1 FRM U, I DUN DO THINGS U DO. U SNATCHED. hmm, no u din, u seduced. n u made it. =) i really do hate u. i had made up my mind to forget wat happened b/w the 3 of us(mi, u, dar) but aft readin ur msg, i jus felt tt ur jus in ur own world tt ur the only 1 hu is rite, n every1 else is wrong. wat i hav stated r all true, not like urs, NO CONTENT. my at least got main points n can hit word limit lo. like tt ur GP how to pass? omg, im worried. opps, i 4got ur not in studyin, aww ur in private rite? ya, at least my memory is not tt bad.

dun blame mi for writein tis, cos she asked for it.

look at figure 1 tt's how "spongebob" looks like.

darren(frm deyi de, 2 years younder than mi, not my dar) was jus tellin mi. tt he saw dar w a gal n a grp of frens near kfc either tis mth or last mth. he was v close to the gal. wad shd i do? shd i ask him, or shd i jus forget it?

saw spongebob at science fair rehersal

2006-05-23T18:47:00.000+08:00

*mi n tigger* (she hates takin photos)

cant keep myself awake for the whole day, it's happening every single day. melia, i noe u mean well, dun get so pissed off ok. =) dun hit mi.. T_T btw, y haven u been comin to sch?? mis u like hell. =D

jus came back frm the science fair rehersal. so no mood. blah blah. it's e monthly thingy again. n some accident happened. think i got to drink papaya milk like wat lyn said. LOL. so eeyeew! ha.

mel will b so so jealous cos cool guy took 985 today. ha. everytime i c cool guy, he'll smile back at mi or sumthin, then mel was like, "aww.." o_O i think they went beauty world.

glad tt i went for the science fair rehersal today, spongebob was there too.. dun misunderstand stuffs, it's jus for entertainment. kris n lyn said tt he doesn't look tt cute. ya true, but he's funny(mono-tone). rmb jar tt time say spongebob purposely sort of "collided" into mi. hoho. guess tt jar thought too much into it. how wld it possibly happen. oh my tian~ ya, as i was sayin spongebob was in the cc jus now. hmm. =) anyway, bet he doesn't noe tt a cindy exist in SA. lol

unhappy stuffs r meant to b forgotten. dun frown, u might not noe hu might b fallin in love w ur smile.

tjc concert

2006-05-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

wooa, ytd's tjc concert was so fun, we did shake/crave. so fun. look at my hair. OMG. goign to perform tt for science fair too. the startin is like so power!! lol. damn, got phy test on topic 1 to 4. i din copy the notes frm 1 to 3. im so gonna b dead. anyway, wont b studyin cos going to look for my dar!! muackies. he gives mi motivation! too tired, jus gonna post some pics. *yawn*

i m havin a v bad HEADACHE!!

another unhappy 16th

2006-05-16T20:27:00.000+08:00

he left when she cried.
without a word.
she jus stood there.
hope'in tt a car wld jus crash,
into her.
she wanted to make him happy.
all communications r down.
he is use to hangin up.
e fone, i mean.
they need to tok.
there was a problem.
she tried to tok to him,
to show tt she really cared.
she shouted at her dad.
her mum too.
jus because she was too upset.
wat a BITCH she was,
to do such a thing.
headache.
she's made up her mind,
to nv leave him.
it's a promise.

melia, i noe u care lots, u've been askin mi to tel u wat happened. i choose not to say. cos im already tired of it. if any 1 were 2 ask mi wat happen, i wnt say anything, cos it's to tedious. i'll tel VENUS, she's my imaginary fren btw. at least when i tel her, he wnt get angry. =)

got caught by miss K today, for my skirt. damn pissed. gt to c her tmr morn. so gek gao 4 wat lo.

my sis went back to japan already. i felt so bad when i told her to leave my room ytd, cos i was explaining to him bout stuffs tt he assume tt... i was so angry tt i said such rude words. sry sis. i really do mis u. i feel so guilty. becos of him, im treatin every1 around mi 4granted. i shout n them n stuffs. i m so so sry. to my dad, mum, sis, joshua. im like going mad. i need sum1. but he doesn't wanna tok. u noe how terrible it is to keep things to urself. u feel like ur being suffocated.

there's a chem lect test tmr. dun intend to study. really damn no mood, im gonna slp aft bloggin. im jus tired of tokin til midnight jus to explain myself, if i din, he'll misunderstand n think tt i dn care. *yawn*

venus is the only one i can tok to now. ya, havin a imaginary fren may not b tt bad.

she's in e hospital?? u believe tt CRAP?! jus her hand n hot water. need to stay in the ward meh?? wadeva, liar!! if u wan him to go visit u, jus tel him straight, instead of askin ur fren to fake it. loser.

it's true tt i hav been tryin v hard to keep tis relationship going.

mel noes wat a G-spot is.

2006-05-15T16:11:00.000+08:00

damn long nv blog. hmm.

13 may (celebrate'in mummy's day):
had dance but managed to reach hm by 6 to change to go to the imperial sumthin sumthin restaurant.lala. papa had a room reserved for us. liwei went to. btw, she's my bro gf. =) so sweet. we ate bout 1000 ++ jus the 6 of us. omg. had champagn n red wine too, but not counted in the 1000++ as it was dad's which was only kept at tt place. i post more pics soon, cant do it now as im stil in sch.. got dance at 5 ltr!! -_-ll there was one guy hu look so much like huang lao shi(mum said). think she had lots of fun. we ordered sum prawns, in the end they served a single prawn on each plate.. -_-ll n each tiny prawn was like $8 each. hmm. bro commented tt the shark's fins they serve r so much better than those budget wedding dinners.often c crab meat n other stuff but no shark's fin at all.. LOL quite true. the shark's fin was v clear, not in small bits. quite good service, if not wrong, shd b at great world city. is some canto place. good good good. i'll give it a 4/5 cos e food took v long to come. apart frm tt, hmm, quite ok. jus tt the aunty c i drop sumthing into the teacup nv go change. i think she pretend not to c de lo. anyway she poured tea on the menu -_-ll hmm. hubb watch soccer tt night. n.. hmm, i shd end it here.

14 may (ma's day):
went to meet him in e morn. love his hugs!!! yade yade yade. went to eat w gugu(his aunt), guzhang(his aunt's hus), qi hui(gugu's baby), ah ma(his ahma), ah gong(his ahgong), pa(his pa), mei mei(his mei mei) n him. we went sumwhere near liwei's hse to eat. i also dunno wat food. then he asked do i feel happier eating w my parents or w his. i said him, partially cos i noe he wan tt as the ans n cos got him mah. then he told mi sumthings, n showed mi sumthing. n blah blah blah. video video.

15 may (today lar, duh~):
wao, hot water? on her hand? cnt write too obvious cos he doesn't like mi to say things bout her. izzit cos he cares for tt slut? ha. to tt gal, think u got ur retribution eh, jus hope tt ur hand will rot so u can nv strip infront of guys. tt's all. m i nice or wat? btw, u hav won half by fake'in 2 tel ur fren to not tel him tt u went to the hospital. pls la bitch, hand only wat, u mean u hav to stay in hospital jus b cos of tt, im no 3 year old! fcuk. he said tt he din noe the gal hu called him. so if they dunno each other, how wld ur fren get his no. to tel him tt ur hurt, IT WAS U HU TOLD UR FREN DE WAT?! pls lah, so obvious tt u told ur fren to tel him all those things, n he now believes u instead of mi. i mean if u wan him to pity u, do real stuffs like commit suicide or hang urself or sumthing. hot water wont kill. so dumb.

jus saw jar's blog, post on 30th march: "cindy is a nice gal actually even thou i always bully her n make fun of her... but actually she's a good n cute gal, all the bad things i make fun of her is actully all bluff one lar..."

so gan dong jar.. T_T sry for always losin my temper too.

FIONA IS SEDUCING HIM!!

2006-05-10T20:12:00.000+08:00

dance is so tirin. my brain is jus not functioning, cant rmb steps. the boots were so hard to balance on. T_T

tis was wat i wrote as a testi to a guy(whose friendster status is single):
since u say she write testi for u, then u cannot dun accept rite? ok, then u shd accept tis testi too.
DARREN LIANG KAI AN IS MINE!! STOP SAYIN TT U LOVE HIM!! STOP BUGGING HIM!! STOP CALLING HIM!!! DEFINITION OF SLUT: bitch hu seduces ppl's bf!!
[Cin]

got to add on another thing, STOP SEDUCING HIM!! BITCH.

i feel tt i hab already lost to her. rmb the foundation mark i saw ytd. on ___'s shirt. ___ said tt he din noe how it got there. now i noe how.

i cant help it, y mus i get to noe bout all this. i rather tt i was stil ignorant of everything around mi. i dun wish to find out. i hate her, i really do. y mus she keep doing things. m i his gf or izzit her? e tears jus wont dry up. i tell myself tt there mus b a reason 4 all tis, i noe he loves mi.

n im sry to every1 of my frens, i was behaving like a spoilt brat these few day. always easily get angry. im jus feel v down. jus ignore mi. sry guys. =)

feel so tired. sometimes i do hope tt mayb 1 day a car will jus crash into mi. i wanna noe if he'll cry, if he'll feel upset. i love him lots. too much til i cant live without him. i noe humans are able to get over things, it's jus a matter of time, may take days or even years. but i choose to stay on. cos i will nv give him up. i love my honey coated hubb!!

hope he'll agree to meet mi tmr.

2006-05-08T22:07:00.000+08:00

hubb i noe u mus b busy, but my mum's not v happy w mi using the fone so often. yar, anyway, i'll cal using hp ltr, pick up k.=) i cant choose, i really need to b back in sch by 5pm tmr. got dance. omg, dance is gonna put mi in a v difficult position, jus hab to.. anyway, i can still go look for u at SP frm 12 - 4 plus. hope u wil wanna meet k. sms mi if anything. =D since u end at 2 plus, we can go eat or sumthing, if cant, i'll acc u to meet them. jus wanna meet u v v much. i promised tt i'll spend everytime i hab w u, whenever i m not w my family n sch. i hab kept my promise tt u wanted. wanna meet u badly.

k i was so happy when i thought there was no dance tmr, but then, good things dun come free, hab dance tmr. boots. im gonna fall like hell. im really no sense of direction la. OMG.

i mis my sugar coated hubb to bits.

tired

2006-05-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

hmm, jus had dance. long day, too tired to blog. anyway, jus wanna wait for his cal. hopefully he'll c the sms, n cal mi v v soon. =) muacks

i love my Dar!! yes u!!

his birthday coming

2006-05-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

hmm, got a scoldin, for comin hm late again. hmm.

well, i love his HUGS!! anyway, mei mei(dar's sis) seems to b v sick.. she kept sneezin. lol dar i think i gonna b sick too, u noe it. cos u were the one hu ask mi if.. then we went pool n pizza hut. those ppl(u noe hu u r) hu owe mi $$ can pay mah?? i really need $$ urgently!! tired, but i love to lie on his shoulder.

actually, i feel kind of insecure. ya, cos.. Fio. i trust my dar but i m jus afraid tt he'll leave mi 1 day. i dunno wat will happen when tt day comes, i think i'll jus die.

*yawn* sumone's birthday is comin!! gonna giv my boy a big surprise. but bet tt wont b the best gift. i waited so long for tis year's V day, waited so long for my birthday last year, when she spoilt everything. tis is the 2nd year we're celebrating dar's birthday together. bleh, he loves mi!!

love u to bits!

happy. he's so nice to mi. =)

2006-05-06T17:28:00.000+08:00

my hubb's bathing now. =) i jus love the way he hug mi. =D hmm, everything is WORTH IT!! cos he is my everything!!

lyn told mi tt other day bout a guy actually made a contract b4 he n his gal got married. the gal n the gal actually agreed to his conditions. OMG, even plus having sex everyday, going home early n blah blah. is tt love at all?

anyway, bus no. 52, if u wan him, come get him. can go out w him too. but he wil nv love u, cos i noe it!!

i love my hubb!!

he's gonna break up w mi.

2006-05-04T20:27:00.000+08:00

omg, jie says tt we're supposed to eat dian xin w mummy n daddy n kor kor tis sunday. n going out. omg, i got to do gpp on saturday. im gonna b so dead. cant meet him on both days like tis. hubb, pls understand. i can predict wat will happen later already. can wait til next week hubb? omg, hubb, u can go view the organizer thingy. really. i cant dun go for the dian xin thingy, cos my sis wil b going back japan soon, n she'll b leaving for years. sry.

SPA is tmr!!

2006-05-04T20:04:00.000+08:00

mel so happy for u, c he treat u so well, im so ecstatic. =) he can wait for u til u finish choir, so good la. hmm, im happy.

damn, there's SPA tmr!! omg, i dunno how to find concentration n watsoever!! argh~ hubb i need u. i feel so stressed.

mummy i love u. im really sry to make u so angry when i reach home so late, i noe tt ur worried too. i wanna go hm early to study n stuff, n i dun wanna lie to u. sry tt i've been lying. mum, im sry. i need sumtime to make him believe mi.

im so worn out already, fell asleep in the bus. yawn. cant believe it, got 13/40(or izzit over 30, i cant rmb) for physics n 1/16 for chem. im so dead, all included in ca de.. T_T. i feel so alone. i dun wanna retain.. i dun wan to. i m sure im gonna fail tmr's SPA!! jhus cant take it anymore.

miss him like hell.
need u by my side badly.

im willin to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the happiness of one, im gonna marry u. tt's if u wan.

2006-05-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

well, found out where he went. fishin, hmm nice. she went too.

no matter wat happens.
u r still standing steadily in my heart.
while i had already toppled out of urs.

i shd go do my GP n Chinese n Physics n Maths n others since he's already sleepin. bet i'll b finishin those by 4am today. i fell so damn tired, ur not the only one.

im willin to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the happiness of one, im gonna marry u. tt's if u wan.

GET WELL SOON, BIG BEAR!! heard ur voice thru the fone, u were like so sick la. Ray dunno y still bug u to come out. lol

mel n ray's lightbulb

2006-05-01T21:09:00.000+08:00

tried doing GP, but cant, been callin, no one picked up.

hmm, went to do GP thingy today, was supposed to meet at bishan at 8am.. i woke up late then reached there bout 9.. sry ppl.. slept at 2 plus ytd, cos.. ya.. anyway, the laptop tt we borrowed frm sch lib cant connect to the wireless thingy.. then had to go patel's hse to use his laptop. well, we did our GP under the coconut tree lol.. patel stil went to pluck a coco. OMG. so funny lah.. i shall post those pics some other time. =)

then we went back to yishun mrt when we're done. blah blah blah.

*melancholy*

had no mood at all.. so Mel asked mi to go join them(Ray n her lo) for lunch. i was so damn pissed tt i din noticed tt i scaned my card at the control station so i might as well go w them. i was such a BIG light-bulb la.. =( sry to b so extra. then so on. dun wanna say anything else..

aft tt i went to meet sis, she was w jay at bishan so i had to make a trip back to bishan AGAIN. -_-ll i was again another light-bulb. then jay was so caring, so envy my sis.. i was thinkin, r all guys this caring n thoughtful? can c tt ray loves mel lots too. jay's patient, cos my sis was overseas for like more than 1/2 a year le.. n she'll b going back aft 2 weeks. long dist relationships. so envy them. amelia is also so sweet to her partner la. to them, being w their love ones is wat they only need.

i swear tt we were supposed to hand in PI by last friday, dunno y ur sis can hand in by tuesday. i din lie.

pls pick up my call.

love quotes

2006-05-01T00:22:00.000+08:00

wat u shd take note of:
you call it madness, but i call it love.
.
when u will believe in the impossible.
when to be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
when the first duty of love is to listen.

promises.
trust.
responsibility.
tt's all i wan.

Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

ask urself:
Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I am beautiful because you love me?

Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved.
"Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."

lynette in the videos.

2006-04-30T23:42:00.000+08:00

i gave in again.
thought tt things wil get better this way.
i called.
the other party hanged.
while i was still tokin.
called back again.
fone was off.
called the house no.
sleepin.

ya, jus like 10 secs ago u were still awake.

watch the 2 videos tt i took during the pass week.. featuring LYNETTE, my beloved beeB!! first one was the thunder one, while we were on the bridge. she tried to hide her face, so funny. i took the second one ytd, at mac's .. she kept shake'in even thou she was tryin hard to avoid the cam. so funny, u shd watch it again, beeB. btw, read her blog, so gan dong.. T_T but y was i ranked 3rd??!

the "fries" video is damn funny lah.. gtg slp.. at least i dun feel so irritated by wat happened already. freak.

izumi's joke

2006-04-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

fcuk.
wrote a damn long post, n page cant b displayed.
gotto write it all over again!!
freak.

anyway, i'll jus cut short bout wat i wrote. well jus tt izumi msg mi tis:

A vampire walks into a cafe and orders a cup of hot water. When the waiter asked him why, what did he reply?

He said, "I make my own tea." And pulled out a used tampon.

end.

fuck, u can do anything u wan! damn, i cant believe it. i should'nt b so optimistic. cos the outcome is the DAMN FREAKING OPPOSITE!!

went cck for su shi, leg stil hurts.

2006-04-30T21:04:00.000+08:00

omg, haven done tutorials!! anyway, woke up late today so din meet him in the more..

*fast-forward*

then we went to take 176 n then 188 to cck.. had su shi(50++) n pool(8++).. he gave in to mi during pool. so sweet of him.. but i still mis those kisses n hugs more. mum called, which spoiled all the fun.. had to go hm, cos i was out everyday.. ya, i shd work hard.. but dun feel like it.. =( he said he wanted to send mi hm, so gan dong.. T_T on the way hm, on the bus.. he fell asleep.. so cute..

it rained n stuff, think he was damn tired le.. i kind of feel bad to c him sniffin away.. how i wish i could b by his side at tis moment.. the feeling is terrible.. but i cant, cos my mum.. haix. hubb, r u ok.. i mis u alot..

sis wanted to go eat "dian xin" tmr, but cant make it, gt to do the GP presentation thingy.. so sry.. btw, my sis came back ytd. for 2 weeks only n she'll b going back to japan again.. yawn, i feel tired too.

stil can rmb tt face he gave when i wanted to kiss him n .. he'll jus say, "LING, wo shen bing~." so sweet la.. but he so stupid, we shared drink le mah, so kiss also nvm.. =D i mis those kisses. they seem somewat diff frm last time.

i think i'll leave those tutorials for tmr, aft doing the presentation, going out w him, going out w my sis, then i'll do them.. =) c good time management rite.. i noe i noe.. =D

WHO cindy hates:
bus no. 52!! i'll nv let u win mi, cos ur not fit to do so!!
pigeon hole no.79!! the slacker.
X!! erm, mayb.

actually, the only person i hope will disappear frm earth is bus no. 52!! how dare u steal him frm mi!!

hubb, get well soon.. btw, hubb is actually dar.. but i cal him hubb de.=)

i m so gonna sleep early today, my leg hurts, did i break something? hope he did listen to mi n went to bed, n drank warm water, else im so gonna get angry. hubb u mus understand k, ur not superman, mus take care of urself. ilu.

knee pain

2006-04-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

lOu jus sent mi tis, so sweet of her.. muacks, i miss u.

i m so so tired.. jus got home.. well my day was so .. went sch for dance, then things happened.. blah blah.. omg, toma is like so difficult, i cant cordinate.. T_T hip hop.. ha. pray for mi then.. there r like 5 diff costumes for the gals.. mi lynette n kristine got the turtle neck n half bustier 1.. the "seamstress"(tt was wat he called himself) said tt e furry top thing will make boobs look bigger, so those w big boobs cant wear it cos it'll look bigger.. lol then beeB was like, "omg, we're big~".. ha. toma in HEELS!! im gonna fall. krist was like askin how m i suppose to run frm one end of the stage to the other w heels, lol.

broadway's, toma, physics olympiad's, Jilyn's, Corinne's, Amelia's, Zaki's steps are all filtering out of my brain at e moment. i cant process it.. *HELP MI* i hav such a bad memory, cos of too little storage space.. T_T

anyway, enough of dance.. cos yade yade yade.. so gan dong, cos amelia actually said tt i can go off, but jus for today.. but i decided to stay on for dance instead.. thanx . =)

beeB was rite, tt gal was okay aft all.. dun think she(C) was tt bad.. to tt gal, im sry if i said anything bout u.. cos i din noe u tt well.. smile k.. =)

went for tau hui lunch lol.. manda was like a pig lah, eat sandwich, tau hui, fries, ice cream!! omg..

ya, then aft tt, went deyi.. saw mr chia, he was like saying v i choose science n blah blah.. -_-ll saw sum irritating ppl, yeew~ but anyway, lOu was so so pretty lah.. she look so mature n pretty!! so envy her.. coloured hair sum more..

received a call.
ok.
not gonna say anymore.

like i told beeB, i'll take things lightly. ya, i tried, but i still.. argh~ no mood now. i jus dunno how to make things change.

mailto:^4#$@##%&*%7*453^$5#$%3T%7*%#5#5$3575%^$6$6@$@%#@$2#1&98%&)5^$^#99&)&0&*(8(0*^*&%^%78$5657$85*(&4^&5&686%6&%67$78%#5#$3679^9056476

jus tryin to vent my anger. ok i m feelin better now.

my knee hurts like hell. cant walk properly.

too pissed to say

2006-04-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

i hab nth much to say.

SUFFER NOW AND ENJOY LATER!!

2006-04-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

yawn, damn tired.. today's chem test sure buang(i mis those days w dillys n ping they all =)) de.. nv study. mel droped my fone today. lol.. it's nth.. anyway, heard bout wat Mel said bout the couple hu goes to the gal's hse every sat.. n blah.. thought they broke up already cos the gal's status in friendster is single. hmm,..

thanx seng yong for teachin mi durin GP, but i wil stil fail.. lol n most of all AMELIA too!! thanx. =D

mr mannan took like almost 2 whole periods tokin bout our studies.. im really afraid, heard frm Mel tt kenneth got E E O.. omg, n Callay(is tt how u spell his name??) got 2 Bs.. im gonna get O O O.. T_T mus get at least 30 points to get to J2, or izzit 35, cant rmb.. anyway, if i get O O O i 0 points le lo.. argh.. v stress, no time to every revise those i nv listen during lects.. JC is really no life.. but, like wat mr mannan said - SUFFER NOW AND ENJOY LATER!!

im gonna mug, BUT m gonna spend quality time w my Dar for the rest of tis week, i'll start muggin, hmm, next week?? thanx hubb, for listenin 2 my 2 mins today.. n u, ...., 2 times.. i pretended not to notice only.. =) ur so cute.. i noe u tried to hide it.. ok, i wont go into details.. muacks.. whenever i dun hab dance on wednesday or friday or saturday, i will sure RUSH to look for u de.. k? ilu. i really hope tt wat u said bout saturday wil happen.. i heart my BF.

my sis is coming back!! tmr, mis her lots, but dunno y, felt tt we hab lesser things to tok bout.. mum said tt there will b conflicts btw us if we r now like tis.. i dun think so.. =) i love my sis, jus tt it's hard to say it to her.. hmm, hab been takin taxi home these few days.. cant liao.. dunno izzit the taxi driver gu yi drive v v slow, $6 only frm his place to mine, so far meh!! eat my $$. but the cab driver ytd was much more friendly.. he still got tok to mi.. then think he heard mi tokin on the fone to Dar sayin tt i mus get home soon.. ZOOM~ he went, n i reached home quite fast.. thanx uncle.

S.P.A. IS NEXT WEEK!! omg~ i dun even noe how to calculate moles!!!!! NAFA IS ALSO NEXT WEEK~ im gonna DIE, jus like wat jie bin said.. T_T

lyn, r u mad at mi?? i mis ur laughter. anyway, ray seems to b really good to mel.. i support u.. he wil always b waiting for her, anything everything.. so sweet.. jia you!! mel ur still keepin sumthing frm mi.. lol, nvm.. dun worry, he'll b a perfect BF!!

so many ppl noe my locker de code le!! i'll soon b seeing josie(joshua choo)'s , yl's things in the locker.. -_-ll.. i dun like the P.H. 79 cher.. so slack, get paid to teach nth?? wadeva, as if i care, u slacker.

no kisses when b4 i got on the cab..

heartin him.

im a sinner. forgive him.

2006-04-26T20:22:00.000+08:00

it's 8 ++ n haven started on my revision for tmr's chem test.. im gonna fail, AGAIN. din do mr manan's tuts too. v guilty.. no time.. v tired.. omg, jus realised tt mus hand in final draft for PI by friday!! shit, jus sent miss huang my 2nd one. hmm, got to rush it tmr.

i believe in wat i trust.

H I M

sry to every1. i noe u ppl care. im fine. =)

i din love him til the max, cos if i did, i wld b able to do anything for him. but i m not capable of doing all those beyond my control. he is my everything, i'll make sure tt i'll nv disappoint him. im sry hubb, i hab done lots of silly stuffs. i noe i was jealous n stuff, i'll nv b.. i hav changed, but not totally. n i've gave u my word tt i wil change. i wil. i wan u to b the happiest man in the world. n i'll nv forget my promises to u - i'll nv leave u, no matter wat. i believe tt one day things, wil change. then we'll both b v happy ppl. i wanna kiss him.

i wanna b ur listening ear.
i wanna b everything u wan.
i wanna b perfect in ur eyes.
i wanna b the one to b by ur side for life.
i wanna b the gal u love.

i noe wat road im supposed to follow, but i like to go against my fate.

actually, i think u ppl readin tis entry mus b damn blur.. lol nvm. =) a blog isn't a place u write bout unhappy stuffs(guess hu said tis lol).

anyway, today's sports day is a totally boring. we din even realised that it ended til miss huang said so..

sry lyn, bout jus now, im sry.. ray, bh, im really sry. it was seriously my fault. if it wasn't for mi, all this wouldn't hav happened. im a trouble-maker.

im a sinner. forgive him.

n my dad.. he's been drinkin again, mum's really pissed off. she loves him, i noe. they shd jus sit down n tok, both of them are so hot-tempered. dad, it may lead to liver cancer, u shd stop drinkin. even thou it's clients, u can try to explain. i love my mummy n daddy.

argh, gtg lie down, tis is e time of the mth..i'll jus shut my eyes, n wait for his call =) tutorials can wait.. lol mr manan's gonna kill.

i miss u, thanx for everything u hab ever done for mi, i understand.

06s12

2006-04-25T21:18:00.000+08:00

hey, finally finished the final blah blahs of the 06s12
's blog!! go c k!!

i'll nv leave

2006-04-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

her heart is broken.
her mind is blank.
she has lost all hope to live on.

i'll forget u only when the earth stops turnin n the seas dry up..

took v long to find the chinese words.. mus find 1 by 1 de..

我会永远等待你回到我身边的那一天, 不管多久,我都愿意 . (wo hui youg yuan deng dai ni hui dao wo shen bian de na yi tian, bu guan duo jiu, wo dou yuan yi.)

hope tt u'll watch tis, it's not e song, it's sort of a show:(i'll b like the guy, to wait for the gal. i've promised, so i'll not leave, jus wait for ur return.. jus like wat the guy did..):
http://www.youtube.com/ep.swf?id=20317853062625AC&eurl=

if anywhere anytime u feel tt ur alone, feel ur heart cos i'll b in there, lovin u. im alone cos some1 broke my heart n ran away frm it..

test

2006-04-18T21:29:00.000+08:00

Jie bin siad tt i m gonna die..
it's true
i dun even understand wat e lects r teachin
i cant take it anymore

sms frm him

2006-04-18T18:02:00.000+08:00

i cried when i received tis sms ytd night, at 10:41 pm..

"Nope dun worry.. Fio is enough to hurt my dear , i dunwan add any harm to u baby.. =)"

i was so touched.. hubb, i love u.. n i trust u..

incomprehensibly AWOL

2006-04-17T20:26:00.000+08:00

haix, im going to forget anything unhappy.. i wan him to trust mi.. i shall not write bout those not so good stuffs.. hmm, yar.

im happy, v happy. feel retard.

blah blah happened, im not really happy bout it.. n blah blah blah.. n so on, yade yade yade.. i jus hope that blah blah blah wil _H__G_ (fill in the blanks).. then i came home alone, end of story.. believe in mi can? OMG _o__l_s d_n'_ k__p s_c__t_ t_ t_e_se_v_s (fil in the blanks).. i sound so ridiculous.

ans: CANE cupeoteeeresohmle

i dun get wat F.U.S.S.(stands for Fat.Ugly.Short.Stupid. which is mok) meant.. well im a bit worried bout Mel.. haix.. kemmeth shd noe.. aiyo, i cant interfere but i jus dun like him, cos he still owes mi $16.. anyway, tt's not the point.. -_-ll argh, i swear if he doesn't treat my Mel well, im so gonna kill him(n get my money back)!!

oh ya, beeB.. sry.. i'll try to find it.. u ppl noe wat happened??! the maid next door seems to b stealing my mum's bras, my clothes(not the bras) n my bro's singlets.. n i think beeB's top has incomprehensibly AWOL( absent without leave).. hmm, *thinkin*

anyway, I LOVE DARREN!! MUACKS HUBB!! LOVE U FOREVER!!

HE IS MINE!!

my strength is my mask

2006-04-17T20:23:00.000+08:00

i held my fone
the whole of ytd night
waitin for a single cal
which didn't come
my eyes were red
cant stand e ambience
disorientation
loneliness
n entrapment

i wish i wish..

my strength is my mask
n i m petered out

wat is tt ur keepin frm mi??

2006-04-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

i saw tis in ur friendster: I somtimes wish there was no love within my heart,For, then there wouldn't be hurt when love falls apart,Why must my heart be broken time and time again?If it must always end, why does it ever have to begin?Tear stained cheeks and a chest filled with pain,So many tears held inside, they could flow like rain.What have I done to deserve all this grief,What will happen to give my heart some relief?Think I shall take my heart and just pack it away,Maybe some time there will come another dayThat love will return and gather the shattered fragments that remainAnd restore it to something that looks like my heart again.But, now I'm alone and I don't want anyone to seeThe shattered being that is left where a man used to be.One that was not filled with such pain and doubt,Who thought he knew what true love was about.Who can't stand to look in the mirror to see the reflection in his eyes,For when he's alone, he certainly cries.Time's supposed to heal but, when will it begin?Hope time starts soon to make the pain end.For, I can't stand the reflection, each morning, I see.Hard to believe the one in the mirror, is none other than me.

y did u reacted so strongly when i wanted to c ur fone..

...

2006-04-16T17:43:00.000+08:00

i jus kept quiet.

i change my blog's colour by myself!!

2006-04-16T16:20:00.000+08:00

OMG i used quite a few hrs, well, i changed my blog's colour, did it myself!!.. everything that was white is now black n black to white!! i almosted screwed it up as i could not change the colour of the navigations.. but ya, got it in the end!! i like tis better than the old one.. btw, i added a archive section!! it's below the links section.

argh, it's already 4.30!! omg, haven done my physicz, chem, math, chinese, GP, PI!! oh well, since i m gonna die anyway tmr, i'll jus go down n eat some watermelon while watchin tv. =D

dar sounded pissed, hope he can do his dunno wat network thing.. =) i m missin him like hell, cant tel him tt, cos i dun wan him to detest mi.. =) dar work hard!! call mi?? hmm, nvm.. u tmr start sch, mus sleep early.. muacks

ok, now off to watch some tbee!! (beeB mus b really mad now, cos i was supposed to start my PI by 2pm jus now.. beeB, i promise u, i'll b finishin it by today k.. muacks 4 u too!!)

i jus love my SKIN, erm, i mean BLOGSKIN.. =D

PI due on monday!!

2006-04-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

OMG.
i m happy.
he is happy.
we r both happy.

i think i m gonna fall ill.. it's been a long time since it rained like tis evening.. cold. alone. i was jealous of other couples.. but, i believe.. think tt u may hab some doubts.. blah blah.. i'll blah blah..

damn GP.
wat is PI.
stress.
physics.
chemistry.
math.
all leads to one thing:
im gonna die on monday.

loving Dar forever.. muAcks

dun go

2006-04-14T20:58:00.000+08:00

he hanged.
he's going to c her tonight.
clubbin.

how can everything jus end like tis.
my eyes r red.
think my bro noticed.

my life is in a mess, kenneth said tt i'll die if i fail my promos. i dunno, i was stone'in in bed, thinkin bout our past. met him at jurong, at tt time none of us thought tt we'll b together.. then, chatted on msn.. met his parents.. problems came like nv b4.. tears n anger n less laughter.. i rmb tt time we went to the beach, the sea seems endless.. we were sittin there, takin photos, promised 2 nv leave each other.. rmb u asking mi if i leave u when u go NS, my ans was "NO", i wait for u.. i was a petulant gal n tt, resulted in quarrels.. u n i were both obstinate. aft the breakup, i've learnt alot. tt no matter wat, i'll nv leave u.. but at time u already had her.. knowing tt she treats u so well, can always b by ur side, go clubbin w u.. all i can was to skip lesson to look for u, my life was so occupied. i knew tt i had no time for u.. heard tt u were really happy w her.. they seemed so happy.. i was to blame, cos i had to study n neglected him. even if i get to c him for the evening, it will not b enough.. he goes clubbin, but i hav sch.. but recently u broke up w her cos she went clubbin w other guys.. God gave mi a chance, n we got back together. tt day was april e 3rd, saw ur dad, n i was afraid cos he knew bout fio.. but i went on cos i knew tt i've change for u.. tt day i cried infront of u, u said tt it doesn't matter wat happened in the past.. promised nv to leave.. i wanted to marry u.. im not as hot-tempered as in the past.. i tried to spend all my time i had left aft sch on u.. when i m not in sch, im always w u.. i dun mind how many hours it takes to go jurong frm SA as long as i get to c u.. can c, u din wanna tok to mi.. i thought u love mi. i jus sat in my bed thinkin bout all tis.. din even pick my their(Mel n Ray) calls, not purposely but cos i din wan u ppl to hear mi cryin.. thanx for carin 4 mi..

hubb, i love u.. dun leave mi, i survived 5 mths without u.. u brought mi up to heaven, n banished mi down to hell.. i'll keep waiting for u to say u love mi.. over the pass 2 or 3 days, u nv said a single "i love u".. tt was when i knew sumthin was wrong.. u had time n din wanna meet mi.. was it since then u were planning to tel u it was over??

i need u badly.
my vision is startin to blur.
wat if i die tmr.
will u cry for mi?

since 160205, i had nv loved a guy so much..

Decalperbvn

FIONA's A BITCH!!

2006-04-14T16:45:00.000+08:00

called him ytd night, without knowing tt his "gameover" means breakup.. n she told him tt no one would change, n not to pick up my calls.. y does he still listen to her?? ya, he broke up w mi already.. aft waiting for 5 mths, it's now back to waiting again. but if he love mi, he would not jus listen to her.. tt's e painful fact, tt he doesn't love mi.. being together is not impt, all i wanted was u to love mi, tt's all.. i hate her, wat did she say to u? i can do ANYTHING FOR U. do u wan her?! she was the one hu went clubbing w other guys, n made u angry.. does she love u?? at least i dun go around clubbin w those guys!! if a gal cant b faithful to u, she is NOT a good gf. u told mi all those things bout her.. U TOLD MI TT SHE WAS JUS MY SUBSTITUTE, U SAID TT U NV LOVED HER!! U SAID EVERYTIME U WERE W HER, U WERE THINKIN BOUT MI!! THE THING IS TT U TOLD MI U WIL NV LIKE HER, NV B W HER!! WERE U LYING!!? ilu, cant live without u.. Dar dun leave mi..

i'll b waiting, again.. for u to love mi..

how could u

2006-04-13T21:18:00.000+08:00

how could u say tt.. wat u mean by sayin, "u really tt stupid tt u cant understand, dun act blur lah!!" hu m i? m i ur gf or m i sum1 hu owes u money??! i thought u were tokin bout my msn personal msg.. we were tokin on msn, of course when u say "msg" means personal msg mah, hu will think of sms??

GAMEOVER??!

wat u mean?? hab u treated mi like how u treated her in the past??! i hab changed for u, but u still mis her being w u til v v late, go clubbing togeether, sleep over at ur house.. all those i cant, cos im still schooling!! i feel so alone, even when mel n ray still not together also like a couple.. we are like together BUT it seems like i get to c my frens more than i c u. anyway, no matter wat, which guy tok to their gf this way?? rmb sum1 told mi, tt is a guy wans a gal to change, wat for b w her in the first place? cos u shd love the gal for hu she is!! i've been going to look for u till i get scoldin frm my mum n dad, i din complain at all!! wat i get in return??! u need to spare a thought for others n not only for URSELF!! wat u mean by i nv change.. i've NEVER changed for any guy at all.. u noe y i've always nv wanna leave u, u noe y i cant forget u.. i dun wanna say more.. i've had quite enough. Ray jus told mi a few days ago, tt i wont b able to tolerate it, it's jus a matter of time..

haix, do u care?

i jus hate e quarrels.

he din reply mi

2006-04-13T18:17:00.000+08:00

tis are some pics of the sajc dance works finals..
wao, wat a long day, but nvm, tmr's GOOD FRIDAY!! lol.. hmm, first period was phy pract then miss hwang came to mi n ask if im ok.. she said i looked tired.. hmm.. then heard from Jar n Zak tt she also asked them bout mi.. -_-ll ask y i look so sad or tired or wat, cant rmb.. i thought i was like usual.. Zak said tt she read my blog, so gan dong.. i noe u care for mi.. haha =D i think miss hwang told mr manan, cos he came to ask mi e same qns too.. -_-ll lala~

hmm, scandalous.. ahmm, ray, 16 *hint*.. ppl pls pay up, need money urgently.. those 4 ppl.. haix.. i wan my money back.. T_T

anyway, saw pius aft chem lesson.. *hint* lala.

yawn* need to get some sleep soon.. haix.. wat if i were to die tmr, u wont ever c mi again.. do u understand?? i jus wish tt things would change for the better.. im tired, but i will not give up.. jus, kind of hope tt u will spare a thought for my feelings.. u noe how much i envy ray n mel.. they r so sweet.. then im always alone.. ya, i dun blame u.. but i jus somehow feel bit sad.. jus hope tt u'll reply my sms.. n.. erm, dun lie.. ilu dar..

Ray dun give up!! i support u!! ur wait wont b in vain.. =D

sian diao.. tired le.. yawn* no mood to write..

back in e library finally.

2006-04-12T13:32:00.000+08:00

lala~ back in e library le, it's been long since i last came to blog(as in in the library la) =X was actually supposed to go DEYI to meet lOu n go take the dunno wat cert de.. then found out, only today, tt there's supposed to b a talk or sumthing bout security. -_-ll

he haven replied any of my sms since morn.. haix. wat more can i think of.. i went to look for him ytd, n went home late(cos sch day mah, cant go hm too late) as i was havin dinner w him. my dad was so pissed off.. he said things bout in JC then cannot play liao.. i also guilty la.. cos i dun understand everything. hmm, if only i had my sis's brains..

still waitin for his reply.. it's afternoon already, he haven even replied mi.. =(

p.s. mel, we tok bout lots of things, were u jealous?? haha.

i mis dar..

i sux

2006-04-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

i sux.

im not e perfect gf 4 u.
hate myself.
kill mi pls.
dun leave mi,
cos i cant live without u.
ilu.

it's 1.05am, tuesday.. cant sleep. we hang e fone bout 1 hr ago. my eyes hurt, typin in e dark, e screen is damn bright. dun think i'll sleep well, so might as well blog. haix. i m such a worthless brat, stupid, brainless, stubborn, i jus cant stand it. i m now missin him. i dun dare to close my eyes, all those images keep popin out. i m everything she's not. Y DO I EVEN EXIST IN TIS WORLD!! i love him. v v much.

puffy eyes. alone. i hate tt gal i c in the mirror. she is a disgrace to mankind. a sinner.

dar, ilu.

msgs to sum ppl

2006-04-10T17:08:00.000+08:00

was thinkin bout wat u told mi e other day.. she smsed u.. ask u if u ever loved her.. ur reply was "yes, tt time when i was w u." (i din read his sms, he told mi thru the fone) but then y did u say tt u nv loved her when i asked u.. still rmb tt time when i say wanna meet up as frens, at tt time u had her.. u said tt u nv wan to make her cry.. u cared so much for her.. y din u say the same things as u did in the past w her.. the images i told u bout, still appearing.. cant get them off my mind, but im still tryin, give mi sum time.. cos u were e 1 hu told mi things bout u 2.. i've waited for 5 months, finally got u back.. ilu.

but, all in all.. wat's most impt is still reality.. i choose to believe.. i cant tel u bout how i feel, cos u don like mi to tok bout ur past w her.. but 1 qns, y did u tel her tt u loved her, when u told mi she was jus my substitute.

dn lie to mi k.

a little sumthing 4 my frens.. short msgs to u ppl(thou Mel's 1 is damn long =X) :

Mel, dun think too much bout it.. believe in urself, in him n in ur heart.. take mi for example.. no matter wat ppl say, i jus listen, tt's y i choose to b w dar.. try to feel it.. do u trust him?? well, it's normal tt ur mind wil not think well when every1 is sayin negative thing bout him.. but try to believe in ur decision.. to mi, ray is a good fren, but i dunno bout him being a good bf.. opps, did i jus say sumthing wrong?? OMG~ but anyway, there's a slight possibility tt he had changed, my advice - get to know him well first, b best frens.. if he cant wait, means he does not like u tt much.. dun rush into things.. can c tt u werent' listenin durin lectures(thou mi too, cos i forgot bring notes mah), i'll b there for u, jus tell mi.. i'll ACC u~ =X

Lyn, im jealous really.. dun think u get wat i mean.. haix..

Eleen, haix, i mis u noe.. dunno y.. LOL

Fio is so pretty..

X, no time to blog bout u.. anyway, camel thinks tt tt tag was so so FAKE. blah blah blah.

superband n not mi??

2006-04-09T22:47:00.000+08:00

haix.. it bout 11 le.. there's sch tmr.. *yawn* argh~ jus called him, he said tt he wanted to watch tv.. n hang my fone.. y? i asked myself. izzen it obvious.

nth happened at all, it's such a boring day.. still waitin for his cal.. Dar i promised u tt i'll not tok bout fio anymore.. i trust u..

currently:

stone'in
lying on my bed
waitin 4 his cal
thinkin bout e past
bout her
bout him
.

mayb i shd end my life using 1 of mr manan's suicide ways.

how i wish i could jus tear those images up, erase them frm my memories. i dun hate her.

i was e cause for my tears.

ilu

2006-04-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

i dun care wat e future brings, im happy as long as i hab u..

ilu

Cin love Dar

2006-04-08T22:34:00.000+08:00

we're back together!!

mi n Dar.. well, it been a few days le.. but no time to blog bout it.. jus came back.. woke up at bout 11.30 then was almost late.. met lOu, yvO, tekka, shu hui at ps.. for lunch n walk walk.. then went to meet Dar at city hall MRT.. we went marina square, pool, swensens, blah blah.. then took a damn long time to get to the merlion aka b.o.b.'s trademark or sum thing(Dar n his frens.. b.o.b. -_-ll) then too many ppl liao, then we went to the esplanade.. we took a cab lah.. OMG~ *i love him* my feet hurts frm all those walkin, but i m still happy, cos i had him w mi.. n he will b mine forever..

tis post is gonna b a short one, cos he's gonna cal mi ltr.. =D

Cin love Dar
forever
160205
Decalperbvn
ilu
Cin love Dar
Dar
LOVE
Cin

I LOVE DARREN LIANG KAI AN!!

i cried

2006-04-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

cried. lynette toked to mi, she said tt darren changed.. then she said tt fiona v chio.. n stuffs.. she said tt darren used to care for her.. but now he doesn't.. does it mean tt he loves fiona more now?? i cant stop thinkin bout him.. cant stop crying.. all i wan now, is to forget our past.. sumtimes i do wish tt we nv met.. but i wont wan to forget cos he is the guy i love so much.. i cant concentrate on studies.. i hav tutorials not done which was supposed to b handed in by last friday.. T_T i love him!!

kill mi pls, i cant take it anymore

2006-04-02T19:05:00.000+08:00

kill mi pls, i cant take it anymore

"maybe someday u will understand n won't hate me anymore.. 160205"

those were ur exact words.. wat u mean by tt.. u left mi, u forgotten everything we went thru.. u mean breakin up w mi n b w fiona will make mi happier?? wat don't i understand? y cant u jus explain.. the truth is tt u dun love mi anymore. y? i jus wan u to love mi like b4.. i keep tellin myself tt if u r able to do tis, means u dun love mi the way i love u.. many things happened.. so many til i din believe tt we cld b together at tt time.. i changed for u.. u hav her now.. i dun mind.. i jus wan u to love mi n tell mi the truth.. when wil i find out? 10 years ltr.. do u get it, u had her by ur side, it has been mths.. im alone.. i feel sour.. can breathe.. hate u.. ya, for tt time when u told mi off for writin a testi for lynette.. but, i thought it over.. i still love u.. i thought tt i cld jus forget u by stop contactin u.. but i toked to u again, today.. u din even try to contact mi.. y.. i choose not to believe.. do u still love mi?? y did u choose FIONA, when u promised tt u wont even like her!! lovin u is hard, in the past as well as the present..

i m still waitin for u to call mi "ling". will it ever happen? i'll wait, even if it's gonna b bitter.

[Cin love Dar]

ilu.

2006-04-02T17:29:00.000+08:00

160205
i dunno y, he keeps appearing in my mind.. 1 year.. i met him during the sch holidays in year 2004.. we went to the same maths tuition centre.. u made mi believe in love, n made mi suffer tis torment.. missin u like hell, y did u leave mi?? how can u b able to put everything down jus like tis?? u said u'll marry mi.. i've nv love sum1 so much.. im still waitin, cos ilu.

look at tis

2006-04-02T17:23:00.000+08:00

pls click on the word "with", u will go to my links.. then scroll further down.. u c sumthing like a slideshow.. i miss him..

DANCEWORKS 2006 on april 1

2006-04-02T15:13:00.000+08:00

hmm, was supposed to go for my first physics tuition today, but din.. haix.. dun wish to go jurong east.. tt place was where we first met.. it's been more than 1 year le.. we met during tuition.. i'll nv forget.. how i loved him.. n now, everything has come to an end.. he keeps appearing in my mind.. cant lock him out..
ya, bout ytd, we din get top 3.. NYP n NUS de was super nice.. but din think tt we will.. it was one week of eye bags, torture(physically n mentally), copyin tutorial hmwk frm Mel, bruises, n stuffs.. all i can do when i get hm for tt one week is jus to lie on my bed.. omg, all the pain sia.. hmm.. overheard things, n well, clara told mi bout the 6 tics thingy.. 6:2.. it's a bit unfair u noe.. beeB was right bout them!! haix.. wat to do.. only hab to live w it. but most impt thing is tt we had fun puttin on our makeup n throughout the dance.. it stood out frm the rest.. but ..

Jarryl the hairy kid..

2006-03-30T14:03:00.000+08:00

sian, 2 days nv blog le.. pon physics lect jus to blog this entry.. Mel n Jar influence de!! -_-ll they force mi to go library de.. T_T well, no time to blog... cos had dance lah.. which ends about 8.30 everynight.. lol.. then reach home bout 10 plus le.. i will jus drop dead n blah blah.. btw, saw Chris de sec sch class photo.. so funny.. Mel they all say v ugly.. -_-ll ltr got dance!! argh.. i HATE it.

*I LOVE MR MANAN*

he is such a great cher!! he was like so patient.. he said tt he was a sub science student too.. T_T.. he was like so busy, n still helped mi n Mel w our work.. GAN DONG!!

Mel is copyin mi!! NOW. copy mi write Mr Manan also.. Mel is a copyCinDy~ by the way on my right is the stupid cum AIRHEAD gal, Mel.. n on my left is the the guy w a super thick spiral FURCOAT, Mr JARRYL blah blah(4gotten his surname.. =D) jus peeped at Mel's entry.. she was writing sumthin bout WATERPOLO~ *hint* *hint* her guy's name has 3 letters.. start w "R" ends w a "Y".. *hint* n a "A" in the middle.. i din say hu.. cos the guy may b "RgdgeAdgdggY" or even "RprjbdumdAhfguhfiusoujfndhsY" ya.. lala~

oh, ya.. bout "cricket ball" ... hmm, beeB i'll write bout her another day.. =D haix.. better stop ponnin le.. cant catch up.. T_T is Jar n Mel force mi de!! *SOB SOB*

n ya, Jarryl u shd go gel up ur furcoat.. =D

cant bitch bout ppl in blog v sian de leh.. but it's the truth mah, y cannot say.. ... so happy~ found the cute guy i saw during 2nd intake orientation.. actually also dunno izzit him lah.. but i think so.. argh, so funny, tt guy looks so much like ah shen lah.. haha tt chao lao guy.. so long nv tok to him liao, also dunno wat he doin now, slackin everyday a k pool ba.. most prob de.. n received ah Bui's sms ytd.. he in camp 4 like quite sometime le.. hope everything's ok for everyone of my dear dear frens.. but a bit disappointed tt lOu din c my entry which was for her.. is tt the end of our friendship?? had a tok w kor ytd, he said tt friendships will fade de, so mayb it's time for mi n her to accept new frens.. but i miss her.. we spend so much time together, bitchin bout ppl, crappin, crazin n yade yade yade.. lOu, i miss havin u by my side.. *Jarryl sleepin le, lol, in library also can sleep*

i miss, 4o6 of year 2005!! 2o6 of year 2003!! all those happy memories.. i love every1 of u.. i wanna cry..

Darren, ilu..

hmm..

2006-03-27T22:51:00.000+08:00

clara said:"she stared at mel chester me chun lei keneeth aft u went for dance."

we hab to tok bout it, XL.. is she really tryin to make things better or worst??

lalala~

2006-03-27T21:19:00.000+08:00

TIS POST IS FOR MY SECONDARY SCH FRENS!! C, KL WROTE TIS, REALLY, I DIN MAKE TIS UP.. SOMPA.. I COPIED OUT FRM MY MAIL.. N READ HIS LAST REPLY!! LOU, BET HE DIN MAIL U RITE.. LOL

Mail frm Mr KL:

Hi Cindy!
How have you been in college? You are still at St Andrew's rite? How's lectures and tutorials? Guess you should be ok since you were there first 3 months so not much remedials huh?
Hope your dad's recovering well too? Last time you said he underwent some medical treatment overseas.
BTW, wonder if you would be available to meet up for a drink & chat sometime next week, say on Thursday? Actually, I have a favour to ask...it's collecting some survey data on study habits. As you know, not all your classmates did well last year for physics. So I would like to understand from you what are some of the things that you have done rite to enable you to do well for the subject. This will help inprove teaching of the subject.
Hope you can assist in the survey and it won't take up too much of your time. Do let me know the day and time you are available and I will confirm with you again ya?
Thanks!

my reply:
hi =D i'm afraid tt i may not b free. i'll have dance pract everyday..i wont b able to make it, cos we're practice'in for the up-comingdanceworks performance on tis saturday.. sry

his reply:
Hihi!
Seems like you are very much caught up with school already! Anyways, what about anytime next week after the Danceworks performance when you are free? I can pick you up from college. Let me know ya?
Thanks!

i love my dear fren lOu~

2006-03-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

ya, now is like 9++ jus got home frm dance..

PERFORMANCE AT UCC TIS SATURDAY!!

then XL called mi din wanna pick up cos was damn pissed aft wat happened tis aft nn.. but then, i jus thought tt mayb i shd listen to wat he wans to say.. he said tt it was a misunderstanding.. -_-ll well, we noe if it is or not, but anyway, since i agree to let tis thing settle like tis, then jus nvm, but KEITH is not gettin away alive, many ppl angry w him.. i was kind enough to ask him to bring his gf for our OG29 outin tt time, jus to try tok to her or wadsoeva.. but then, the others din wan, .. so ya, i was being kind.. *beeB vomits* im!! ya then he said tt she wanted to tok to mi, but was scared.. ?? do i look tt scary, y was she afraid, not as if i will eat her up.. -_-ll *Jarryl said tt i look like cancer patient T_T* we ourselves, as in blah blah n blah blah n more, noe wads happening, so wadeva crap u ppl wan say, stop it, ur behavin like LOSERS(not toking bout her, seriously)!! XL, sry for so wei nan u, but i was damn pissed off, n i apologise for such a bad-temper.. im born like tis.. lol haix, jus let it b ba.. i noe tt blah blah blah.. n blah blah blah, cant write it out, else some ppl wil jus say tt i scold them or insult them, so next time i will jus write "blah blah blah.." then wat for u get a blog sia, to write fake stuffs??!

anyway gal, ppl also asked mi hu X is, i din say.. then heard frm him tt is ppl ask u, then u say it's mi? oh, u being such a blah blah person.. chingalo -_-ll at least i din go around sayin tt it's u, ah-ah i din say u did.. dots.

tired of bloggin "blah"s n "blah"s.. cant i blog the truth??!! ARGH!! jus watch wat u say next time, .. tt's all.

LOU SRY TT I NEGLECTED U!! U R FOREVA MY BEST BUD, I'LL RMB OUR PROMISES FOR LIFE!! WE'll C EACH OTHER SOON!! I FEEL BAD HAVIN NO TIME W U.. THESE PICS WILL BRING BACK THOSE WONDERFUL MEMORIES!!

our zi lian times..

rmb we were tryin to take a pic of the mirror at marche

still rmb, tis was b4 one of our Os exams.. too stress, then went crazy..

our promises..

when u tou pai wo.. *shy*

when we were sec 2..

our kuku days.. i mis my tail..

lou, all i can say is tt i love u, u made my life colourful.. really.. i mis u.. u were there for mi when i get bullied.. u were there when guys make mi cry.. u were always w mi.. i wish to c u now, cos i m so stressed up in JC.. i mis DEYI.. n our gang.. hope to c u ppl soon!! i wanna cry.. tis whole post is in purple, jus for u.. =D i will make ur frenship b foreva.. i hav trust in it!!

Cin lurve lOu~

SCREW U~

2006-03-27T11:33:00.000+08:00

im now in the library(AGAIN), w Mel, Zakiah, Zhicong, Seng yong, Alwyn.. so sian lah, transmit wat heart signals w hp.. LOL dunno wat they all thinkin.. but anyway, saw X tis morn, cant stand it lah, it was she hu first BITCH bout mi, Mel n the others all heard.. so wat for ask SOMEONE to ask mi y i hate her so much?? pls lah, LOSER.

read Mel's blog ytd too, her entry bout X is like so similar lah, jus change frm first person to second person lah.. -_-ll not oringinal.. btw, Ray was sms'in Mel during first lecture.. *HINT*

u guys dun understand the whole thing.. y mus kick up such a BIG fuss?? it was she hu started it first, worst still, heard ppl sayin tt i was JEALOUS of her cos she is now w XL?? WTF?!! he n i nv started at all, only gd frens(tt time).. even in 06S10 we also nv tok wad.. LOL but anyway, jus hope tt those PEOPLE wil stop it, cos it aint true!! if it's true, i wont mind u sayin it, BUT IT IS NOT!! dots..

CHINGALO

jus pissed off w wat they said, damn.

n ya, chun lei is really, haix, i understand wat u going through, dun b too sad k.. =D

lala~

gtg, eat or sumthin else idiotic Mel w scream~

sour..

2006-03-26T20:34:00.000+08:00

nth much today, jus tt my whole body is ache'in.. cant walk properly.. lala~ maple whole day, thou i sux at it, cos i died 3 times today.. -_-ll lynette came to tok to mi in msn, she din noe tt dar stead w fio le.. n she still likes him, she said, "a bit".. hmm.. y do so many gals like dar?? all i can say is tt i loved, lost, n stil love him.. but i give him up cos i loved him.. he once ask mi.. will i choose to let 3 person to b unhappy or, only 1.. yar, n the 1 wld b mi.. i was DEVASTATED. i dun feel happy when he tels mi bout their daily stuffs.. we were together for 1 year!! i stil rmb, the times we spent together.. i wld cry everytime i think bout e past.. i wld hug the pooh bear u bought 4 mi, n cry.. i cant control it.. sour.. tt's the feeling.. ilu. u made mi believe in love n stabbed my HEART. aft the breakup, i really did lost hope in life.. only had xin to b w mi.. u HAD her ALWAYS W U!! hate it. n the person in tis pic, is Dar..

some pics, 14 march..

2006-03-26T20:26:00.000+08:00

these r some pics taken on our OG29 outin at marina tt day..

xxx

2006-03-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

u r so totally~ OMG, aiya, to sian to say le.. well, she did visit my blog on 24, n posted tt damn post.. at 10:22pm tt day.. jus dun understand y ppl write sum things, n simply dun admit.. tt is so .. lol.. *yawn* i've 4gotten wat i wanted to say bout X, but i guess it doesn't matter, cos she aint impt anyway.. hu cares bout her.. well, the ppl in her beloved guy's OG doesn't like her, tt is so sadening lar.. anyway.. was she pissed cos tt i thought the gal hu was sittin beside XL was prettier than her? or was it cos she is UGLY.. i seriously din say anything bout she being ugly, so ya.. the gal's really much prettier than u(inside n out, u shd understand wat i mean).. r u jealous? well, u can jus FLIRT w him, gee, wat m i sayin.. bi+chs dun flirt well.. u can try harder.. =D wish u luck..

lalala~

2006-03-25T22:51:00.000+08:00

http://six.flash-gear.com/npuz/puz.php?c=v&id=1024668&k=53899592

DANCE HAS ONCE AGAIN WALK INTO MY LIFE

2006-03-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

hmm, it's like going to ten le.. sian.. i slept at 2am tis morn lah, cos i was tryin to rmb e steps, in order to b a fast learner cos im jus so SLOW lar.. -_-ll anyway, huang lao shi de, seems to b so easy to rmb, wang hui li lao shi de also dun need to spend so much time learnin them.. but dunno y, i cant catch up w ZAKI's steps.. everything is so fast, i think my brain not functionin well..

OMG~ lyn aka my beeB, think u'll noe hu i refer'in to, u noe tt gal tt tok to C in tt way, we were both so shocked.. erm, nvm, air-heads wont understand.. haha.. =D she was like so ji dong, n (wat's tt word??).. her eyes were like O_O.. n blah blah~

oh yar, where did i stop?? yar, i met Jarryl n Jun jie on 985 while i was on the way to meet beeB.. she looks so cute in tt hairband!! erm, ya.. then started pract(only J1 there at first).. i finally can do the TOMA steps tt i din noe how to do!!

*BAD NEWS*

tt part was cancelled.. i spent the whole night n part of e morn to study the steps n memo lar.. i wanna cry T_T ..haix.. then it's dance dance n DANCE.. n dance again.. n 5mins of break, n followed by DANCE~ i think we finished blockin bout 28 sets of 8(think so).. zaki said tt he had nv blocked so many 8s(within 1 day) b4.. waaoooo~ but then, it was tiring, got ba-loo-ku le.. T_T still rmb, Dar said tt the way i say blueblack was really funny, til now, i stil dunno y nia.. haix..

i still miss him...

i shall not digress any further.. n yar, dance again.. n blah blah.. oh yar, almost forgot bout it, chun lei said tt my fone had 4 missed calls.. lol.. then she looked so pissed, but i noe she dun mean it.. =D n yar, frm Ray.. -_-ll then he say wan go town, lol.. he thought tt lyn n i agreed to go town w him, when did we say tt.. -_-ll but anyway, he went off w chun lei, so lyn n i went broadway.. she's still on her vegetarian thingy.. so ke lian.. ~~ we left broadway at 4.30 n reached the SAJS's stop at 5.15~~ we took 45 mins to walk there, well is laugh there lah, i think i can roll to the bus stop within 15 mins lah, we were like mad liao, i still dunno wat was so funny tt made us laugh.. lyn needed to pee *-_-ll* anyway, ya, reached home at bout 6 n started maple til now.. lol.. so sian, nth to do..

n for tt gal hu posted on my tag board, i din delete ur post, i was so shocked tt u admitted u were the Bi+ch i was tokin about.. i wonder wat kind of person wil consider herself to b a dog?? hmm

*Thinkin*

well, it might only b u.. opPs~ i shd not hav said tt, tt's so not right.. ok then, i'll jus leave ur post there =D m i such a GOOD person or wat? n u dun need to thank mi =D

on the fone for 3 3/4 hrs til 1.40am

2006-03-24T11:28:00.000+08:00

well, today is MYCH's birthday!!

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED MYCHELLE*

well, i m as usual in the library again, Mel din wanna go physics.. so lol, i bo bian too.. i wan to study lah, i m such a good gal de.. LOL

well, ytd is like nth much, n din wanna write so sian diao liao.. then i was maple'in(cos nth to do) then xiong wei called.. then he was like sayin wat, zhiming likes mi n blah blah.. say go wat bootes .. lala~ hai yo, tel them not to play liao.. then aft tt, HUA n CHRIS(hehehe) also called.. then conference lo.. they ar, joke bout every single thing.. if only i can too.. yar, then we toked for 3 hr 45 mins.. til 1.40 tis morn lah w jie joinin in halfway..then i got only 3 1/2 hrs of sleep..

hey zm, sry.. i din wanna help them, they say play only nia..

JIE, U TAKE OFF UR TT STUD LE MAH!!? LTR U CANNOT TOK LIAO !! so many pierce'in 4 wat nia? lol..

then came to sch tis morn by myself, YUN bang say mi!! i wonder y i come sch today lah, din even go for any lectures at all.. come sch to blog only.. -_-ll

actually got lots of things to say de, but then lazy to do so.. ha. btw, sandy also thinks tt RAY LIKES MEL ... =D my life is in such a mess.. btw, he stopped callin mi since e day b4 ytd.. ltr gonna celebrate MYCH's birthday during chem lecture.. mean not goin for lecture again, oh well.. damn, ltr got dance, n i cant rmb the COMBIs!! wonder wad dada is doing now.. *thinkin*

OMG, Mel jus showed mi yew liang's blog!! he posted my retarded pics!! argh~

dun let Mel c.. LOL

2006-03-23T17:28:00.000+08:00

oh, jus reach home.. stil no mood to study.. was slackin the whole day in sch.. only had 1 hr of lecture only.. then Mel, Clara, Yewliang, Jarryl went Bugis for lunch.. BK, then we went on to get our earings n stuffs.. tt shd b all, too tired to tok.. was busy slackin the whole day.. i almost forgot, yar, we were tokin bout the 2 RED specs ppl.. sayin tt they look like a couple.. hmm, i din say it's u Mel.. oPps~ i nv say u like him or he like u ar.. is look like only, DUN ANGRY~haha.. i find Mel quite funny lah, the way she laugh.. hope she wont read tis entry, else i'll die.. *pray*

I LOVE DANCE~

2006-03-23T17:09:00.000+08:00

DANCE
Dance
DaNce
Dance
Dance
Dance
Dance
Dance
Dance
Dance

too bo liao le..

2006-03-23T11:33:00.000+08:00

Cin
Cin
Cin

shut mi up!!

2006-03-23T09:40:00.000+08:00

shit, y cant i c my last entry.. T_T haix, so sian lah, nth to do at all.. mus wait for the wadeva tok then can go off. LOL.. waste of time.. then shd b going to the cafe soon.. i wanna eat!! but Mel's still bloggin.. btw, im now in the sch library..

ARGH! SO SIAN!!

but rather worried tt i cant catch up in my studies sia.. JC seems so tough.. n i jus dunno y i cant stop yawnin once i reach the CC~ haix.. comb. science without A math background, n now takin PCMe sure die de..

i jus wanted to b a dancer for life.. but it's obviously impossible~ mum had always think tt dancers dun earn much in the society, n tt's quite true.. my sis n bro r so diff frm mi.. or shd i say tt im v diff as compared to them.. sis is a lawyer hu earns millions in a few months, bro's a great doctor hu has a great BIG caring heart.. wat m i?? i dun c my future.. i m jus so useless.. i cant b like them, n i noe it.. like now, i hab like 3 1/2 hrs of free time, n im here bloggin instead of doing tt service learnin thingy or readin some notes..

jus saw boon n yue xing, so sweet studyin together.. if only my brain is functioning, if only i was hardworkin.. blah blah.. so sian of life.. i was thinkin tt aft he left my life, everything became so meaningless to mi..

hmm, mayb tt im jus not adaptin well enough.. haha.. im hungry!! Mel i m hungry!! stop lookin at those eyelashes.. -_-ll

loved n lost.. 1 year of joy, laughter, crys, memories, n emotional breakdowns.. blah blah, so on.. im USELESS!!

xuan lei sat beside another gal, but not X.. OMG~

2006-03-23T09:10:00.000+08:00

lalala~ hello the idiotic Mel beside mi.. -_-ll so shiok sia, jus finish the one n only lecture of today, CHEMISTRY!! n while leavin the CC we(as in mi n Mel, duh~) saw xuan lei sittin w another gal, much MUCH prettier than tt X, btw, now going to say, tt X is.. well, so obvious.. tel ya sumtime later!! lol.. X looks bitChy n is BITCHY!! so ya, there is only 1 person hu looks like tis.. =D so sian, nth much.. think we will b going bugis later, to buy earings!! so long..

=D Red specs, both *hint* is beside mi now.. thinkin *hint hint* they look so sweet this morn lah.. *hint*

presentation skills? OMG~

2006-03-22T18:49:00.000+08:00

jus got back frm dance.. the presentation skills thingy v funny.. well, quite.. haha.. then now stil in my sch U.. tired to move.. mayb i shd jus roll(my bee-B mus b laughin if she sees tis) .. well, bee-B told mi tt she'll b givin C a chance to change.. but seriously, i think she is like tt n she dun even noe it.. but oh well, i'll also givin C a chance, tt is if she toks to mi.. i wont give tt **** ** face.. LOL

well today is like, saw bee-B(LYNETTE!! the B cum B) in the mornin, n walked to the cafe together.. she was tellin mi bout wat C said to her n how evil of her to abandon my bee-B when she wans her other frens!! haix but bee-B is kind to giv her another chance!! i lurve bee-B!! hmm, there were only 3 lectures today.. but it jus seemed so damn long.. then Mel was like sayin, "let's pon Econs" .. i cant! need to study, so we went for lecture aft all..=D durin the CCA cum PE tok.. i felt so lonely lah.. Mel abandoned mi for Ray!! no lah.. they jus keep tokin, then i was like stare'in into space lar.. then they tok tok tok .. LOL then blah blah, presentation skills thingy then DANCE!! i went w Xinyi(my new CG mate) we learnt the new combi in jus 5 mins!! thou it wasn't perfect but at least i rmb!! so gan dong.. my brain is finally functionin again!! haha.. while i was on the bus, i met the same few ITE guys.. so funny, then tt guy came to tok to mi again.. LOL..

OH YA~ almost 4got.. X was walkin infront of mi while we were all walkin towards the CC!! Mel tel mi go say sumthing.. then i jus shouted bi+Ch lar.. then at the enterance of CC i said "DISGUSTIN" n some other blah blah.. she heard lah.. then Mel told mi tt she is tellin her fren bout it.. then i said sumthin like, "ya i noe, i can hear it!!" X's fren turned back n i stare at her.. LOL Mel was like "LOL".. duh.. jus dun like her lah.. can say is whole OG29 ppl dun like her.. yeew~

stil waitin for yew liang n clara to upload pics of tt day.. so screwy.. haha..

i miss sister!! wonder how he's living on without mirror.. mayb he brought 1 himself!! haha

hmm, hope tt tmr will b a better day.. dun wanna c tt sickenin face of tt bi+cH!! i mean X.. lol~

darren, ilu.. i cant 4get..

i loved u..

2006-03-22T05:55:00.000+08:00

dar called mi ytd.. OMG, u r so unreasonable lah.. y cant i write a testi to lynette, she was the one hu added mi in friendster lah.. u jus dun understand, do u??

I HATE U!!

INGRATE!!
HYPOCRITE!!
LOATHSOME!!
SINFUL!!
DISGUSTING!!
BARBARIC!!
AIR-HEAD!!
DENSE!!

i've had enough of ur nonsense.. i dun wanna c u again.. i'll move on, cos u did too.. y mus u ppl b havin each other, n mi alone!! he was mine!! y r u so shallow.. u were too much to say those things ytd.. i cant take it anymore.. im like nth to u at all.. memories shd b put away.. i will NEVER forget wat happened ytd.. i HATE u..

in the library...

2006-03-21T10:09:00.000+08:00

so sian sia.. now in the library.. Mel n i busy bloggin cos we've to go the the CC in 5 mins time !! btw, the X gal i tokin bout is... well, saw her ytd while at the "tau hui" shop.. tt Bi+ch!! then saw her in the cafe .. LOL how unlucky can i get!! haix.. then yar, heard sum1 dunno hu, cant rmb.. say tt xuan lei's quite cute.. LOL HE CUTE??! omg, i sounded so evil.. but yar.. he is not cute.. -_-ll ... gtg, ltr Zakiah not happy sia.. lol going CC..

i mis him, well, yar, HIM..

on 14th march at marina bay w my beloved OG29~

2006-03-20T20:46:00.000+08:00

so random lah..

OG29 at steamboat!! doing Chester's gay pose.. lol

i rmb, tt we once went to e beach together.. at tt time, u loved mi..

Lynette's so cute lar.. lol

Mel n Mi!! lurve her to bits~

- taken on 14 march at Marina Bay

First day of sch..

2006-03-20T17:38:00.000+08:00

hmm, finally start bloggin, thought it was a waste of time, but oh well.. went to sch w yun, as usual.. blah blah, kinda tired.. dun wanna write anything.. lol..

haix, i miss Dar so much.. he mus b really happy w Fio.. all the memories.. winnie the pooh.. n stuffs.. rings.. i've tried to move on.. he is still in my mind.. think tt i jus not happy due to the fact tt he dump mi aft 1 year for a gal he said he will nv like.. all lies..

still rmb tis pic, he was sittin beside mi..

y did u move on? wat bout all our promises? u made mi believe in love n stabbed my heart.. i hate u.. i really do..

i hate tt bitch(X)..

Cin died the day u stabbed her heart, on the 10th..

vomited

lyn's butt

im smilin cos of u

pool table w a ilu.

c him in the pic?

pizza

bbq, n at dance on 31 may

swollen eye

he broke up w mi.

his bday pics

fiona gave him a priceless present!! freak

artem got out of sytycd

160205

first day of holiday. tired!!

im goin mad!!

sry lyn

i cried, alwyn said 56.2 kg

fiona msg mi frm friendster. fake!!

saw spongebob at science fair rehersal

tjc concert

another unhappy 16th

mel noes wat a G-spot is.

FIONA IS SEDUCING HIM!!

hope he'll agree to meet mi tmr.

tired

his birthday coming

happy. he's so nice to mi. =)

he's gonna break up w mi.

SPA is tmr!!

im willin to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the happiness of one, im gonna marry u. tt's if u wan.

mel n ray's lightbulb

love quotes

lynette in the videos.

izumi's joke

went cck for su shi, leg stil hurts.

knee pain

too pissed to say

SUFFER NOW AND ENJOY LATER!!

im a sinner. forgive him.

06s12

i'll nv leave

test

sms frm him

incomprehensibly AWOL

my strength is my mask

wat is tt ur keepin frm mi??

...

i change my blog's colour by myself!!

PI due on monday!!

dun go

FIONA's A BITCH!!

how could u

he din reply mi

back in e library finally.

i sux

msgs to sum ppl

superband n not mi??

ilu

Cin love Dar

i cried

kill mi pls, i cant take it anymore

ilu.

look at tis

DANCEWORKS 2006 on april 1

Jarryl the hairy kid..

hmm..

lalala~

i love my dear fren lOu~

SCREW U~

sour..

some pics, 14 march..

xxx

lalala~

*DANCE HAS ONCE AGAIN WALK INTO MY LIFE*

on the fone for 3 3/4 hrs til 1.40am

dun let Mel c.. LOL

I LOVE DANCE~

too bo liao le..

shut mi up!!

DANCE HAS ONCE AGAIN WALK INTO MY LIFE